A · journal · by · any · other · name

As of late I have become increasingly snarky...I don't know if it is because I hate my job and my living situation, or if I am just becoming more of a bitch. I have very little patience for asshattetery, stupidity, and shallow relationships. I feel like the vast majority of people get on my tits...and I am unsure if this is common, or if my patience is even less than the ordinary person. Somehow I think it is the latter. I used to be incredibly loving....nurturing....helpful...but somewhere along the way I noticed that I was being taken advantage of..and now I am probably just overcompensating for that by not taking ANY shit.

My natural reaction is to be loving and nurturing to those who I sincerely care about....and yes, there is a bit of a bleeding heart in there, but I also have little to no tolerance for those I don't get along with. it isn't that I cannot be pleasant, I can, but I am exhausted afterwards...and need to be around someone who energizes me..or be alone.

These people who energize me are few and far between. In Seattle...I can name a whole one person who never exhausts me mentally, because we are so alike. I don't have to pretend to be someone else.

My mother made a comment, while watching Joss Stone perform on a show last night "she seems so loving"....made me think...I wonder if I seem loving. Because I am...very loving in fact...but my cynicism is ruling right now and my being loving usually turns into people trying to take advantage of me...Not just in doing things, but in what they say...because they assume I either will keep quiet and take their shit, or because they think I actually care about their opinion of me. Not anymore...so my snarkiness comes out.

Yes, I am judgmental. Do I think you are a bad person? probably not..I just don't like your personality....it doesn't do anything for me.
Yes, I am opinionated. I am not wishy washy, if you can come up with logical, well thought out ways to try to convince me that your opinion is the better one, then by all means..be polite and respectful...and talk with me about it. But don't assume I will change my opinion.
Yes, I can be very intolerant. I don't think tolerance of everything is a virtue..I tolerate what I value or appreciate...I don't tolerate things I disagree with if it affects me.
Yes, I am loving....I really am...ask anyone I truly love....that isn't a weakness.

okay now I am just ranting, it is too late...too hot...and I need to sleep.